The Bakers Adventures

7 Days to Go

Well, here we are… my first blog in over five years..

In that time, I’ve started not one but two businesses (because why not make life a little busier?), Dan’s cycled through three jobs, and we’ve managed to survive a pandemic. We’ve had devastating losses and enriching gains.. The girls have grown up so much they’re practically unrecognisable; they’ve both lost teeth, learned to swim and ride bikes, and even started school. Somewhere in there, we also got married, got a dog, received an overdue ADHD diagnosis. Oh, and did I mention a few mental health breakdowns? Let’s call it a real five-year rollercoaster.

And… now I am back here? Honestly, I’m not sure how or why.. I randomly stumbled across an email about my domain expiring and after reading, laughing and crying over early entries when Pearl was only 8 weeks old I guess I felt compelled to dive back into something I use to love. Allowing me to one day look back on these posts as gifts of reminiscence.

Today marks exactly one week until Dan leaves for Kenya. A mix of anticipation, disbelief, and a slight flutter of nerves fills the air. I can’t quite believe it’s happening. At times, it all feels surreal — the adventure, the distance, the change. But then, I see the suitcases at the foot of the bed, and reality gently settles in.

This journey is life-changing, for him and for us. Dan’s quest is about growth, ambition, and stepping into his own. It’s about reaching for something bigger, creating a life that’s even more fulfilling, and showing our children what courage looks like — not just through travel and culture, but through facing the unknown.

It’s strange timing, but the right kind. A year ago, I don’t think our marriage could’ve stood this; we were more disconnected then, and I was navigating my own “breakthrough” — the best thing I could’ve done for my mental health. That hard path taught me to ask for help and to break out of habits that weren’t serving me. Since then, Dan and I have found a renewed closeness, with more communication, understanding, and respect than ever. I’m sure many marriages after 12 years face similar challenges and had this opportunity come any earlier, we wouldn’t have been in this strong, secure place. I’m deeply grateful for that.

This change isn’t just about him; it’s about me, too. Over the past year, Dan has held me close — sometimes so tightly, I struggled to breathe under the weight of his loving concern. His support kept me afloat when I was at my lowest, but now I feel ready to reclaim some of my independence. I feel grateful, even a little excited, for the chance to prove to myself (and maybe others) that I can stand on my own. I want to show myself (and Dan) that I’m capable of handling things. I love him deeply, but I want to see that I want him, not that I need him. Though honestly, he’s the best husband I could ever imagine needing.

Oddly, I feel calm about him leaving — almost numb. Maybe because it’s only a month this round, and I have so much work to dive into, plus the buzz of the holiday season to keep me busy. Denial? Maybe. But I think it’s more a peaceful acceptance and a desire to show him that I’m solidly in control. I want him to feel confident in his choice to go, free from worry about how I’ll cope.

I see his vulnerability, too, and it’s rare. There’s a quiet sadness in him, a hint of guilt about embarking on this journey without us, and maybe even a fear of not being needed in the same way. I want to honor that, to show him that he can take this step without looking back. At the same time, I remind myself that the children don’t have the same filters or ability to hold back their emotions. They’ll feel the change and, unlike me, they might not be able to tuck it away. I want to be gentle with them, to give them the space they need to express what they feel and not freeze them out just because I’m afraid of letting too much out myself.

So, here we are… seven days to go until a short-term life without Dan, my husband and best friend. The best Daddy and the heart of our home. It’s not going to be easy. I’ll be writing through the journey, on the days I need to check in, or when the highs and lows feel worth documenting. This will be my way of looking back on everything — the moments of pride, sadness, strength, and growth. I know there will be many.

We have always tried to live by the saying from our favourite family film, UP!

“Adventure is out there!”

And this may just be one of the biggest adventures we ever embark on…

SB x