The Bakers Adventures

6 Days to Go..

Six days. Six short days until Dan sets off on his big adventure to Kenya. And I’ll admit, emotionally, it still hasn’t fully hit me. Practically, though? I’ve been preparing, thinking through what this solo time at home might look like for me and for the kids. Since my “breakthrough” last year, I’ve been working with Rebecca, my life coach and — no exaggeration here — my earth angel, saving grace, and possibly the best decision I’ve ever made for myself.

Working with Rebecca has been eye-opening, like holding up a mirror and finally seeing how much I’d been emotionally dumping on the people closest to me, craving validation and oversharing (hello, ADHD trait). I used to give so much of myself away, not always considering if the other person really needed, or even wanted, all those details. With Rebecca, I have a safe space to spill my heart without feeling the need to wrap everyone around me into my world. It’s given me something I didn’t realise I needed: a private life.

Since working with her, I’m less dependent on the people in my life to hold my emotions, and I’ve pulled back on being overly available. Don’t get me wrong, I still love a good chat (over-sharing is a masking mechanism and definitely a work in progress), but now I’m more selective. My soul doesn’t need to be laid bare for everyone; it’s ok to keep some parts of my life just for me. Rebecca has a way of listening that’s constructive and optimistic. Instead of getting absorbed into my struggles, she listens, understands, and then nudges me to find my own answers. I’ve realised that, with other people, my default has often been to let them “sit” in my issues with me — or to let them lead me through it all. With her, I’m the one in charge of where I’m going next, and that’s a relief.

A few sessions ago, we spent time really thinking about what Dan brings to our family and home. We listed out the values and joy he adds, his acts of love, and (because it’s fair) a few of the habits that drive me slightly up the wall. It was like cataloging everything from bedtime routines to his ability to keep all of us grounded and steady.

We went through each part of his role, figuring out what I want to keep going and what I’m okay with changing, for the sake of making life work for me while he’s away. Some things I want to hold onto, like the bedtime routine where all devices go off, and we focus fully on winding down with the kids. But some other things — like eating arrangements — I’m ready to tweak. We’ve never really eaten together as a family on weeknights because of Dan’s work hours, and honestly, that’s always made me a little sad. It’s something I never had growing up but really hoped to create with my own family. So now, I’m going to make it happen. The kids will help set the table, clear up, and maybe even lend a hand in making dinner (it’s time they learned a little independence and the value of a clean space, right?). Bed-making and light chores will be encouraged, but nothing strict.

And there are a few new things I want to try out, like letting them help me in the kitchen one night a week. It’s a bit of an experiment to see what routines support all of us growing individually and together. With Rebecca’s support, I feel more prepared for the transition ahead. She’s given me tools to tackle what’s in my control, and more importantly, the peace of mind to accept what’s not.

Tonight, we’re having a small family send-off for Dan. I think that might be the moment when this all feels real. Day by day, I can sense myself edging closer to accepting that he’s going. My body even seems to be aligning with it — I started my period five days early, right on the Taurus full moon. (Thanks, Universe, for these perfectly timed hormones.) Maybe it’s helping me release all the emotions I’ll need to fully feel when he leaves. Or maybe it’s just a reminder that life has its own timing, and that’s ok too.

Here’s to change, acceptance, and whatever surprises this new chapter holds.