The Bakers Adventures

5 Days to Go…

We’re five days out from Dan’s departure, and it still hasn’t fully hit me. Last night we had a family dinner at the Indian restaurant, both of our immediate families gathered around to say goodbye, and even with the lingering scent of curry and everyone exchanging well wishes, I still felt… fine? The one thing that nudged me toward reality was seeing our nieces Alana & Annie get super emotional during the goodbyes. It was like watching a preview of what’s coming, a tiny lump forming in my throat as I realised the girls and I might be the last ones to process this whole thing.

But honestly? I feel emotionally numb, like I’m waiting for the wave to crash but it hasn’t yet. There’s a strange, neutral calm, as if I’m sitting in “togetherness” with my emotions, aware that the sadness and anxiety are there somewhere but not feeling them just yet. I know I’ll miss him terribly, and that any day now, the reality of it will set in. But right now? It’s like being on standby, knowing the emotions are in the queue but haven’t started playing.

A close friend of mine, actually put this in perspective for me today. She reminded me that for those of us with ADHD, living with chronic worry and that low hum of panic is just… life. We’ve got that baseline of anxiety so deeply set that when something genuinely big or stressful comes up, we sometimes feel oddly calm because we’re already primed for stress. This? This is the kind of stress our brains have been tuning in to all along. It’s the little things that tip us over the scale — small, unpredictable challenges that sneak up on us unprepared. But here? We’re atuned. It was like a lightbulb moment, realising this is just my brain responding the way it always does. Instead of feeling broken, I feel more aware and accepting of myself in a way I didn’t expect.

So here I am, counting down with a new sense of understanding. It’s not panic; it’s just my mind’s way of bracing for change, in a way that feels like second nature.

And I’ll take that growth.