The Bakers Adventures

I woke up this morning to an empty side of the bed and the sudden realisation that my soulmate has set off on his adventure.

My heart is bursting with pride and excitement for him, knowing how much he’s earned this, how long he’s waited, and how tirelessly he’s worked without a single complaint. Dan’s determination and focus have always inspired me, and every late-night manifestation session or journal entry I’ve ever scribbled inevitably came back to his career goals. Not because mine don’t matter, but because I know how much this means to him and how much he deserves it.

He’s hungry for adventure, stability, and a life full of possibility, for all of us. How I got so lucky, I honestly don’t know.

But, oh, the hole he’s left behind. It’s as though someone’s taken a piece of me, and the absence is all-consuming. Yes, FaceTime and WhatsApp will help, but the space between those moments will feel lonely. My world already feels a little dimmer without him here to brighten the corners of it.

The love I can’t direct his way, I’m pouring it into myself. I know he’d want that…healthy meals, vitamins, sleep ( I’ll try my best) and exercise. He’s doing his part of the bargain, chasing his dreams, and I owe it to him to be ok back here. To give him the peace of mind that me and the girls are safe and happy while he’s away.

Still, my stomach sinks every time I think about how much I’ll miss him. It’s extreme, I know, especially since we’re so fortunate. He is coming home, and there’s a timeline for that return, but it doesn’t make it easier right now. What it does do is open my eyes to just how much we take for granted…those ordinary, everyday moments of togetherness. The cold feet he begrudgingly warms in bed, the way he humors me when I’m being ridiculous and our weird language we share, the joy he brings to the girls every single day just by being. It’s highlighted and confirmed that I’m a seeing is believing kind of person.. and until he had gone I was never going to really understand what I felt about it.

That said, this morning gave me a little boost of confidence. I’d expected utter chaos (and possibly tears) getting the girls ready for school without him, but somehow, it was easier than I thought. Maybe it was the adrenaline of day one or maybe some miracle of cooperation from them, but we made it through with minimal drama and only one renegotiation of hair clips. Small wins.

And the love—oh, the love I woke up to. Endless messages from friends and family reminding me I’m not alone and offering support for whatever I might need. It’s such a comfort to know that even when it feels like there’s a huge hole in my heart, we’re surrounded by people ready to step in and fill some of the gaps. I’m lucky, and I know it.

Yesterday, was ours. A perfect, soggy goodbye. We layered up and braved the cold at Petersfield Lake, where the geese, as always, were horribly rude. They chased us like the feathered thugs they are, as if we owed them a buffet. Only a couple of weeks before did they chase Pearl to the point of killing her leg on a tree trunk is fear of being eaten alive. Wasn’t feeding ducks meant to be a beautiful, calm activity? Or is it just Portsmouth Ducks that have an attitude problem?

Just to top it all off, in a moment of solidarity, Doug decided to rescue Dan from the ducks, which resulted in half my hot chocolate wearing me instead of warming me. YAY!

Lunch was fish and chips as promised, a last little treat and then Dan took the girls swimming while I retreated to bed to secretly cry (obviously) and procrastinate over what the coming weeks might look like.

Spoiler alert: I have no idea!

But then there was Parents’ Evening…a fitting finale to our day. Hearing that we’re doing a smashing job as parents was the reminder we needed that even though this season will be tough, we’re a team. Whether together or apart, we’ve built a foundation of love and resilience that will carry us through.

Tonight, when my feet are freezing and my heart feels heavy, I’ll remember that. And I’ll be counting down to the day we don’t have to say goodbye again.