The Bakers Adventures

Change. It’s one of those words that feels heavy, isn’t it? We talk about it like it’s this mountain we need to climb, often focusing on everything we aren’t doing to support our goals. But when was the last time we stopped to ask what we are doing that doesn’t serve us? Instead of always thinking, What do I need to remove? maybe the question should be, What can I add to support the life I want?

I’ve spent years fearing change, clutching to the past and those “what ifs.” What if I fail again? What if this turns out like last time? But then I realised… I’m not even the same person I was a year ago. Are you? Probably not. So, why do we assume the outcomes will be the same when we’re not the same? Growth doesn’t mean things will be perfect; it just means they’ll be different. And that’s the point, isn’t it?

This year has been one of the biggest shifts for me. For the first time, I feel like I’m truly building secure relationships, and it’s been transformative.

I’ve always leaned towards an anxious attachment style. You know, the one where you’re constantly seeking reassurance, second-guessing yourself, and worrying you’re not enough. Then there’s the avoidant type.. those people who seem super independent but really, they’re just keeping others at arm’s length to protect themselves. And finally, there’s the dream team! SECURE attachment. That’s when you feel safe and seen, you trust the people in your life, and you can handle conflict without spiraling into an emotional black hole.

I was classic anxious—if someone didn’t text back, my mind would go into full-blown detective mode. What did I say wrong? Did I upset them? Are they ghosting me? But this year, I’ve made a huge effort to shift towards secure attachment. I’ve built relationships where I feel genuinely valued and seen, where I’m not constantly questioning myself or my worth. And let me tell you… it’s been a game changer. I even got a tattoo to mark the growth with my soul sister, Claire. It was totally her idea which I jumped on board with. These self development trends are the trends I want to be onboard with.

This sense of security has filtered into so many areas of my life. Like last night, for instance. The girls were so calm and relaxed. I had one of those is this real life? moments. I set them up in bed with popcorn and a Christmas movie, expecting the usual interruptions, squabbles, or pleas for “just one more thing.” But none of that happened.

Instead, they actually respected the boundaries I’d set. When I explained that I had a friend coming over and wanted to enjoy her company.. just like they do on playdates. They nodded. And they got it. I was so stunned by their cooperation that I kept checking on them, half expecting to find them plotting a great escape. But no, they were content and rested, and it felt like a massive win for all of us.

My friend and I spent the evening with a glass of wine and some Angel cards, laughing and chatting without interruption. It felt peaceful in a way I haven’t experienced in a while. No raised voices, no chaos, just calm.

The girls and I even made a handshake called the “3 Leaf Clovers” (inspired by my necklace haha), and Erin took it upon herself to make smoothies this morning, filming the process for Dan as promised. It’s these little moments. Our new routines and daily doses of Daddy videos.. that are helping us stay connected even while he’s away.

We’re tracking each other’s locations on the map, and while the distance between us is massive, I feel closer to him than ever. There’s a stability and gratitude in this chapter I didn’t anticipate. And for that, I’m holding space.

So, here’s to embracing change! Not by tearing ourselves apart, but by adding the things that help us grow, heal, and move forward. And here’s to the relationships that anchor us, remind us who we are, and give us hope for who we’re becoming.