The Bakers Adventures

It’s been a few days since I last sat down to write, and let me tell you… it’s not because I didn’t want to. Life is relentless right now. Doing everything solo means I’m juggling all the things, all the time. From keeping the kids alive and semi-happy to walking the dog, working, and trying to feed myself something vaguely nutritious, it feels like the hours are slipping through my fingers. And don’t even get me started on my ADHD-induced time blindness. In my head, it’s been maybe a day since I last wrote… reality says otherwise.

Somehow, we’ve passed the one-week mark since Dan left. I woke up on Wednesday to a flurry of “You’ve done it! One week down!” texts from my family and friends, and it felt like such a warm hug. The thoughtfulness and love I’ve felt from the people around me have been a lifeline. But here’s the kicker… The realisation that it’s only been one week was soul-crushing. One week felt like a month. How do we have so many more to go?

On the way to a shoot, I called my mum and had one of those cries. You know, the silent ones where the tears stream uncontrollably, and you feel that ache in your chest that you just can’t stop? It wasn’t intentional, but once the dam broke, it all poured out. Later, I checked my period tracker and found that I’m entering my PMDD “blackout days.”

For those who don’t know, PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is like PMS on steroids. For three days a month, it’s like someone switches off the lights in my brain, and I’m plunged into a darkness where every emotion feels unbearable. The only thing that keeps me grounded is knowing it’s a chemical imbalance—not reality—and that it willpass. Diet, exercise, and vitamins have been my secret weapons, and they’ve worked wonders, which is the only reason Dan and I even considered him taking this job. He’s been such a huge support in my PMDD journey, so educated and invested, and I’m endlessly grateful for him.

Speaking of Dan, he’s doing amazingly well, apart from his ear, which still isn’t 100% after antibiotics and drops. He’s dizzy, flushed, and generally uncomfortable, but his growing work schedule has been a good distraction. Hearing the excitement in his voice about his new role makes me so proud.

Back at home, the girls have been on an emotional rollercoaster. Pearl, in particular, is really feeling Dan’s absence… sleeping in his jumpers and crying several times a day. It’s a constant reminder of the hole he’s left in our home, but it’s also given me a new appreciation for the little (and not-so-little) things he does for us. Picking up the dog poo, for instance… definitely something we all took for granted!

A huge shoutout to Olly, our best friend and honorary uncle, who’s been stepping up in the most heart-warming way. He’s been walking the dog, checking in, and generally being a rock for us. His friendship with Dan is something I’ve always admired. It’s not just banter and beers; it’s a deep, supportive bond that makes them both better people. I’ve been so touched by how Olly’s been showing up for us—it’s a testament to the type of friendship they share.

Christmas prep is in full swing, and I think I’ve tackled most of the shopping. The cupboards are alarmingly empty, though, because food shopping without Dan is an adventure (read: disaster). I either buy 50 of the same thing because of some amazing deal or come home with everything but the essentials. You know that middle aisle in the supermarket full of random novelty items? That’s my weak spot.

On a brighter note, we saw Wicked recently, and it was phenomenal. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favour and go. Such a great escape from the chaos for a couple of hours. I’ve been playing the soundtrack in the car ever since.

This weekend marks the end of my back-to-back Christmas mini sessions, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’ve still got a mountain of editing to tackle, but without the interruptions of shoots, I can finally find my flow again.

Here’s to surviving a week!