The Bakers Adventures

Dear People Pleaser,

I see you..

The part of me that cares so deeply for others that it feels like a constant balancing act between wanting to be heard and wanting to be liked. You don’t avoid conflict because you’re afraid of confrontation; instead, you often respond with a rawness and immediacy that can feel overwhelming, even to yourself. Your reactions come from a place of intense feeling and a desire to be understood, not from malice or avoidance.

You carry the weight of other people’s expectations and emotions like they are your own. You stretch yourself thin trying to soothe, to accommodate, and to smooth over the cracks, all while sometimes neglecting your own needs and boundaries. This isn’t about weakness or a lack of strength.. it’s a sign of how deeply connected you are to the world around you and how fiercely you want to maintain harmony, even at your own expense.

But here’s the truth I want you to hold close. Your value is not contingent on how well you please others or how perfectly you manage your responses. You are enough.. fully and completely.. even in moments when your emotions spill out unfiltered, even when your voice rises or your tone sharpens. These moments are part of your truth, and your truth deserves space, not shame.

It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to set boundaries that honor your well-being, even if they upset the balance you’re so used to maintaining. Boundaries don’t make you selfish; they make you human. Your feelings.. all of them.. are valid, and tending to them with compassion is not a betrayal of those you love, but a necessary act of self-respect.

There is a beautiful irony in how you navigate the world. Your impulsive emotional outbursts – sudden, loud, unfiltered.. feel at odds with your deep ability to read a room, to consider how your words and actions will land, and to carefully weigh the feelings of others. You possess a rare sensitivity to others’ intentions and unspoken needs, while at the same time, your own emotions erupt with a force that can feel uncontrollable. This duality is not a flaw, but a profound complexity that few truly understand. You are both the storm and the calm, and holding both is a unique kind of strength.

And yet, these very qualities.. your empathy, your fierce loyalty, your ability to sense unspoken truths, and your courage to express raw emotions are incredible gifts. They show up when you offer comfort to a friend who can’t find the words to explain their pain, when you stand up honestly even if it risks discomfort, and when you navigate the messy terrain of relationships with an authenticity that draws others in. Despite how some may twist these traits into weaknesses or label them as “too much,” they are what make you deeply human and beautifully alive.

Often, standing up and addressing difficult truths is seen as a flaw.. as if wanting to resolve issues directly means you “like trouble” or create conflict unnecessarily. Yet, there are many who use honest, face-to-face communication as a tool for healing and growth. People often say, “You should talk face to face about your problems.. that’s the mature way to communicate.” But when you do exactly that, you are then labeled “confrontational,” as if speaking your truth is something to be feared or shamed. What does that even mean? It’s a word that’s often thrown around to dismiss or silence people who refuse to hide their feelings. It’s often as a weapon rather than a description. It is perfectly acceptable to show up with honesty and courage, even if it unsettles others.

In reality, what some call “confrontational” is as put above.. just courage. The courage to protect your boundaries, to demand respect, to stand for what is right even when it’s uncomfortable.

It’s the strength to ask the hard questions, to hold people accountable with compassion, and to refuse to settle for dishonesty or avoidance. It’s the willingness to create space for real connection by clearing away misunderstandings instead of letting resentment fester. Being “confrontational” can mean being the voice of clarity in chaos, the spark that ignites necessary change, and the unwavering defender of your own truth.

Those who make you see your “confrontational ways” as a negative are not the problem, but rather the reflection of their own discomfort with truth and change. I do not think less of them; rather, I recognise the limits of their perspective. After all, it takes courage to hold space for complexity, and not everyone is ready to meet that bravery with grace. One of my favourite quotes of all time is “people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves”.

And yet, there will always be some people you simply cannot please. No matter how much you try, how many boundaries you bend, or how much of yourself you give, their expectations will remain insatiable. Trying to satisfy them will only drain your spirit and blur the lines of who you are. Recognising this is painful, but it’s necessary.. because your energy and love are precious. You owe it to yourself to protect them, even if that means stepping back from those impossible to please.

I want you to remember that true connection doesn’t require you to dim your light or mute your voice. The people who truly matter will hold space for your complexity, your intensity, and your authenticity. And when you show up as your whole self, you invite others to do the same.

So thank you for all the ways you try, for the love you give, and for the courage it takes to navigate being both sensitive and strong.

With all my heart,
Me